Recovery or Stubbornness?

Only a short post today but I would like to consider what recovery from mental illness, specifically PTSD and depression, is. Once again I want to remind you that I am not a mental health professional nor doctor of any description so I stand by to be corrected by those much more educated and learned in these matters.

Everyone talks about the ‘road to recovery’ and ‘when I have recovered’ but I have never heard anyone say they have actually recovered form the conditions. I know I am on the road to recovery and I feel a lot better than I did all those months ago but I know I still battle the demons inside – true, not as much as I used to but I sense the buggers are still in there waiting for a trigger…

Do they ever really go away, or do we just keep them managed and under control?

Both of my therapists and my GP tell me they haven’t before seen someone turn around from massive depression so quickly – I have never considered myself special so I wonder why this could be. But I have always been a stubborn person, always forced myself to stretch the boundaries and when I decide to do something, that’s it, I am going to do it… 30 odd years ago I decided to stop smoking; I stopped cold turkey, no patches, no chewing gum, no acupuncture, no slowly reducing the intake… just stopped. Yes it was the hardest thing I ever did in my life – every moment craving for a smoke, unable to think of anything else, but my stubbornness saw me through and I haven’t touched one since 1987. In 2012 my weight got close to 100kg (15 stone 10lb) and when I saw myself in the mirror I didn’t like what was there so I decided to lose weight. Within 6 months I was down to 74kg (11 stone 9lb). Yes it was with the help of a diet and exercise but I have remained between 77kg and 82kg for six years now. Once again, it was because I set my mind to do it and then made it happen.

Maybe my rapid ‘move towards recovery’ has only been because of my stubbornness, or maybe it is just I am so good at masking the conditions after ten years that I am even convincing myself I am okay…

Well I suppose it confirms one of my key beliefs that PTSD, anxiety and depression are just a state of mind and if you can control your mind you can control the symptoms… most of the time…

Stolen from the web, thanks to Anonymous person.
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