Well here I am, practicing what I preach. Went to bed around 10:30pm last night and woke up at 1:10 after a few hours of uncomfortable and disjointed sleep. I then lay there for 15 minutes trying to get back to sleep but found my mind racing and wanting to go off and do its own thing. So now I find myself sitting at my computer in my underpants writing a blog…
“Why in your underpants?”, I hear you ask. Well it seems that when I went to bed I took off my dressing gown (robe) and laid it over my feet area . When I got into bed and drifted off to sleep, it appears Mr Bigglesworth (the cat) had decided that the dressing gown was the most comfortable thing on the bed and wanted to lay on it. Despite the “hard bastard” exterior that brought about the name “Captain Krankypants, I am a softie inside and couldn’t bear to disturb the sleeping Mr Bigglesworth. So cup of tea and blogging in my undies it is… there will be no photographs and the video intro will be recorded later.
It has been an interesting couple of days – in the post Christmas/New Year ‘time-free zone’ (What day is it? What time is it? Are there Easter eggs out yet?) I have found myself eating so much rubbish food I am feeling decidedly unwell – chocolate, sweets, shortbread biscuits, chocolate coated almonds, chocolate coated peanuts, ‘tucky duck (KFC) and associated high sugar soft drinks. For someone who gave up eating high sugar and processed food so many years ago, this has been a terrible affront to my body. I was surprised to see when I jumped on the scales yesterday morning that I had only put on an extra half a kilo (1lb and a bit).
I shall be getting back to ‘real food’ again now because I found that my mood has been deteriorating and yesterday morning I started to slip back down towards depression. I decided not to blog while I was in the negative place but instead to take my own advice again and get out and do something I liked; to try to turn the mood around. So I packed up my book, a bottle of water and a towel and went down to the beach for some quiet time reading and enjoying the scenery.
There was not much scenery to be enjoyed because the beach was not as it normally was – usually I am there with half a dozen other people at most and it ends up being windy from the onshore wind. Due to it being holidays there were hundreds of people but that wasn’t the issue… the beach I go to is so big that a short walk either north or south quickly finds solitude… the issue was that there was so much sea spray coming of the ocean that visibility was down to about 50 metres. As I walked along the beach it was like walking into a horror movie (was it The Fog?) and before I knew it I was out of sight of any other person there… there may have been people around but I couldn’t see them… it was actually very enjoyable to ‘lose’ myself in the mist.
So I found a spot on the side of the dunes and started reading, occasionally stopping to look up and check if I could see the water yet, or to see if any other daring souls had decided to venture into the mist… it was about 45 minutes before the mist started to clear and the crowds up the beach could be seen. It was so eerily peaceful, even with the sound of the waves, that my drop into depression ceased and I started to feel a little positive again.
Today I am reconnecting with some friends from the past – another of my own suggestions from previous blog posts. One of the entertainers I took to the Middle East in 2008 I found out lives fairly close to me so we are doing coffee at 10:30 – I am hoping I can get some sleep before I have to go…
Another thing that happened recently was New Year’s Eve. Normally my NYE is spent at home in front of the tele watching some dreadful lead up show to the midnight fireworks. I didn’t like to go out anywhere because that meant having to deal with crowds and lots of noise. This time though, I found myself out at the local pub to have dinner and then a few drinks (non-alcoholic of course) before going home because there was going to be a band and it was going to be loud and crowded. A nightmare for me…
But I decided to hang around and, purely for research purposes, see how I would react in such a daunting environment. I was surprised – the room where the band was playing was pretty full when we got there after dinner but we found a table in the middle somewhere – a disaster, couldn’t get a back to the wall, couldn’t clearly see all the entrances but I knew there was one out to the smoking room behind me and a main entrance up to my left… the other entrance was across the dance floor and about four rows of tables full of people away.
As I walked past the band gear set up at one end of the room, I cast an eye over the set up – very neat, good banner, nice merchandise set up and decent equipment. “This might not be too bad” I thought and decided to stay and see what the band was like… and they were very good. If you like your pub rock with a bit of a Southern Rock feel about it then go and see “Dirty Byrd” (Google: Dirty Byrd band Nowra) – a few sad moments though when they did some songs that were made famous by a friend of mine who we did a show with on NYE in Katoomba (Australia) about six years ago – but everything else was great and I ended up staying until after midnight. Now for those of you who have been close to me over the past ten years will know that this is unheard of – Trace Dann at a pub full of people with loud music and deciding to stay rather then sneak away. Granted I did not really move from my seat all night but I stayed, I spoke to people I hadn’t met before and rather enjoyed the experience… I actually surprised myself. Another step forward I think.
Now I think it is time to go to sleep – sitting here in the glow of just my computer screen, in just my underpants might seem a bit weird if any of the neighbours can see me through the window… oh yes, and I just felt a rather large spider crawl over my foot in the darkness under my desk.