Superficiality and Desertion
Another slightly controversial post, this time on my perception of people’s reactions once they heard I had PTSD and depression and was out talking about it.
A person spends many years meeting people, associating with people and in some cases becoming friends with selected people. This is especially true when you run a business or are a key person in another company. “Friends” abound as you have something they want or need but once your usefulness has passed they are quick to forget about you and move on.
Oh yes, there are those people who say, “If you ever need someone to talk to, give me a call” but then disappear never to be heard from again.
I was actually surprised by who really seemed to care – it wasn’t the people I thought I was closer to, it was the people who were more on the edge of the associates list – people I dealt with on a business level rather than on a personal one – in many cases people who generally were not spoken of very favourably by the more inner circle of associates.
I was also surprised by the number of people I knew from longer than 15 years ago who did take the time to contact me and see how I was getting on – including some who I barely knew but our paths crossed numerous times all those years ago. These people interact on here and on my Facebook pages or in private messages and it means so much to me.
And there are those people who I worked with closely more than 20 years ago, who have reconnected and are interested in what I am doing now and wanting to know how they can help. And the people I worked with as a consultant over different periods who have all moved away to other locations but have kept in touch as sparring partners or fellow jokers on Facebook. I would love to name them but I fear I would forget someone and then they would be upset at being left out – it is strange how such a seemingly minor slip can cause such hurt in people, so it’s best not to name anyone.
It is these people who have been the backbone of my recovery and, in many cases, the catalyst for me getting out and about talking about this stuff. They have given me the drive to want to help people who need, and will appreciate, whatever help they can get. It has also got me into meeting new people who are focussed on helping others – they see that what I am doing is beneficial and they want to do whatever they can to help me do my new thing.
I now find it fascinating to see names appear as people I might like to make as a friend on Facebook – “oh I thought they already were… this must be a cloned profile… let me check… hmmm they seem to have dropped off the friend list somewhere – how very odd”. Well at least one person did call me and say they had unfriended me.
Sadly, it seems that there is still a stigma in society surrounding mental disorders – this keeps many people hiding away and not seeking help from professionals. As a result, they spiral down to the bottom of the pit of despair and never get out of it – or they get out the only way they see available to them..
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