Chase Your Dream

So here we are again – time to look at what we can do to keep ourselves interested and out of that pit of despair. I have been to hundreds of management conferences and wank fests over the years to hear experts tell me how to plan for the future, how to set goals and develop achievement strategies with measures along the way to confirm you are on track – you know the basics of what they say in those things has proven correct in my case.  We all need something to live for, if we don’t have that then we either die or we just exist. Living is more than existing – living is getting off your arse (ass for our American friends) and doing what you need to do to be happy.

Each of us has different measures of happiness and different things that will make us happy. In my case I am happy making people happy, that is why I went into the entertainment business, I love creating shows and seeing people enjoy what I created, money has never really been important to me (much to the annoyance of business partners and family). For other people, money makes them happy, for others it’s internal peace, saving animals, having close family, good music, good food – many different things for many different people. While they are all different goals they have one thing in common – they give the person a goal, something to strive for, a future.

In my case, when I hit rock bottom with my conditions I saw my entire life ripped away from beneath me – yes it was my own doing because of how I reacted to certain stimuli (caused by my PTSD and depression) but it tore away everything that I had worked for over ten years and everything I had planned for the foreseeable future. Suddenly I had nothing – or so I thought – I still had the love of family and friends, even the cat of the house started sitting on my lap giving me affection. But it was to no avail – my brain kept telling me everything was over, there was nothing to look forward to and I may as well just sit in the chair and feel sorry for myself, which is what I did for three or four weeks. 

Then I decided to get off my arse and seek professional help – I know I have mentioned this in an earlier blog but it is important… probably the most important lesson so far – YOU have to decide to get up and seek PROFESSIONAL help. Your family and friends can tell you thousands of times but you wont take any notice, it is up to you to decide to seek help – then you will listen to what you are told. But you MUST go to a professional helper, not a friend, not a family member, not a blog by some stranger standing on a cliff – a professional. Yes they can cost a lot of money but they know how to get you up and operating again – and that is what you need.

Now there has always been discussion about psychologists vs psychiatrists – I don’t want to get into that discussion. I see both at the moment – the psychologist sits and lets me talk and provides guidance on things to do to get out of a bad place, the psychiatrist also listens but also analyses and sees where medications can assist with recovery ( I hope that’s okay J and P – I know you are both reading this). I can honestly say that without the medication prescribed by the psychiatrist, I would have had no motivation to get up and do the things suggested by the psychologist. Do you see that??? “do the things suggested by the psychologist” – setting me goals to achieve.  Only simple things at the start but giving me something to aim for. Which is where we came in at the start, we need goals or targets.

So what did I do – I removed myself from everything I was used to, I took myself to England for three weeks but told nobody I was going there.  I wasn’t shunning all my UK based friends, I just needed to be alone and away from the routine of everyday life – doing new things and things I had always wanted to do. It was on the trip that I decided to start blogging here and hoping to not just clear my mind but provide some help to readers who are experiencing the same thing – it has now become a bit of an obsession and is taking on a life of its own with so many people interested in what I am doing – but remember guys, it isn’t about me, it’s just my experiences and thoughts along a journey that so many others are also taking.

In addition to the blog, the trip away allowed me to see a few bands I had always wanted to see – bands that originally ignited my love for music and entertainment. It was three songs into the John Fogerty concert when it dawned on me that entertainment and theatre are what I really love and what I needed to return to – as a result, those of you who saw the ending of Lockhouse Productions may soon see it rise again – possibly looking a little different and focussing on the theatre/concert aspects rather than all the other stuff we were doing before.  I’m not sure yet if Lockhouse will have anything to do with my speaking engagements in the future or if they will be kept seperate and just handled by that learned gentleman Trace Dann.  Unless of course there is a high level manager/agent who fancies taking it on….

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